Lily and Lou Sai

We were on a day trip to Wollongong when Sherene and I decided to do some random thing out of the blue. It's really random trust me.

Background Info:
All of a sudden, i recalled Mun Ee's( one of my high school mates) interesting "bei gu"( they call the lady from northern China in Hong Kong) accent back in chong hwa. Then i just blurted it when Sherene got all excited and showed me the "proper" accent. I was all stunned and thought i was watching the Hong Kong drama series. lol.

Theme:
Lily (the lady) was talking to lou sai (the boss) and trying to persuade him to buy her a Gucci Bag that was on a 20% sale.

Starring:
Sherene- the lady
Shane- the boss

Setting:
Wollongong- on the lawn on a cliff overlooking the blue pacific ocean.

Director:
Jason

It's interesting how people tend to assimilate their own accent with a foreign language. It's supposed to be one same language but sometimes you are just not sure whether or not it's the language that you are familiar with.

Here is the scenario. In Australia, the common language is English (of course, but you will be amazed by how Mandarin and Cantonese have gradually taken over), but sometimes when you overhear the people next door talking, you wouldn't be 100% sure that they are speaking English even though they really are.

That's what actually allows people of different nationalities stand out from one another. Not to forget to seek familiarity in a foreign country. I like it when people can just recognize you through your accent. It's the accent that bind the people together.

p/s: It's really funny to see how Sherene instinctively speaks mandarin and english with a Malaysian accent. Sometimes she wouldn't even notice that her mandarin is almost if not totally replaced by the malaysian mandarin.

"啊，没得救了!"

"walao, 美到!"

"七点三个字"

wahahahhahaa, i am starting to think that i am such a vice, a bad influence. lalalla.

Trust you with my smile

What would do you when you really trust a person? You will be happy and give your earnest smile from the bottom of your heart. The same concept is applied when you dont trust a person but you know it's too late not to, you will be depressed and blame yourself for giving yourself away too early.

I was chatting with Jen the other day where we delved into the discussion of trust. yeh, trust is always the basis of a relationship, or a friendship, but every so often, people take it for granted and exploit it that we see it as something thats not trustful at all. How ironic! Trust is not trustful at all.

"i think i have given in to this guy completely!" Jen brought it up and i was all ears.

"hmm, how long have you been knowing him?" i asked.

"around 1.5 months now!" she said, sounded apprehensive but i could sense her insecurity.

"i know how it feels, you are trying to hold back but the feeling is too overwhelming and as time goes by you realised that you have already poured all in but it's too late now!" i said.

"perhaps it's not as bad as you thought, maybe he is really the one for you? time doesn't mean a thing really, it's the chemistry, not the duration" i then added, trying to boost her confidence.

"yeah i know, i know i trust him a lot, and i know he is a good guy, probably will be the one for me. but sometimes, to think that he has had so many past relationships, i couldn't help to but compare myself to them only to realise that i am nothing compared to them. you know that kind of feeling? you always look at yourself with disdain in front of the person you like, or i should say you love" she told me, and again i could sense her feeling of insecurity and a slight depression.

I was speechless with the monologue storming inside " is it just Jen? or everyone has a tendency to do that? is it really that hard to give in your trust to someone? is it really that insecured to fall for someone?" I was asking myself and obviously neither I nor Jen could give ourselves an answer.

Time will tell, that's what everyone says.

how much does trust worth? would you prefer a guy telling you he trust you whole-heartedly or you would rather get a diamond ring from him with him telling you that you better not cheat on him? It's like he is trying to "bribe" you, materialistically. or you would rather think this way "trust worths nothing, but diamond ring worths a lot. "

Diamond ring will stay after the breakup but trust never does.

Whether or not you decide to trust someone is always up to you, despite the very subjective judgement you can only get from yourself. Noone will tell you what to do or whether or not you should trust that somebody, because you know that somebody better than everyone else.

So why doubt so much while you can just trust somebody with a smile (not a flirty smile!!!). If you notice that you have mistrusted him/her, bring along your wrecked heart, together with the shattered trust, and move on to someone else. It's always a trial-and-error kinda stuff, no pain no gain. What's more you dont want to regret to yourself if he/she just happens to be the one for you.

So before we parted, i said to Jen,

"just trust him and love him as much as you could. he sounds to me a total nice guy."

:)

p/s: the picture was taken at circular quay when i saw this little boy toddling around with his dad. He smiled to the camera when he saw me trying to capture his picture. omg, he is so photogenic and trust me, you definitely want to bring him home with you if you see him. :)

Always happen in winter

Winter is officially hitting down under here in Sydney. It has been raining for the past few weeks and the temperature is descending everyday. It's cold, and all you need is something to keep you warm, be it living or non-living things. Sometimes loneliness overkills you, especially during winter. Even people showered with endless love will be struck by the slightest feeling of loneliness. Blame the weather, and blame ourselves for being so emotional and can't move on with life without being attached to somebody, family, friends or your lovers.


I see myself changing, changing from a pair of board shorts to a pair of jeans, from singlet to hoodies, and from a 19-years-old guy into a 20-years-old man. No visible changes have taken place externally, but a vast one internally nevertheless. They say the aging process usually works its way out from within. I do believe that. With the increasing figure of your age, your responsibilities and apprehension will directly increase, marching from the a lower level to a much higher one. It's the increasing responbilities of life that actually cause the wrinkles to surface, not the dry complexion of your face. With this, i don't think the anti-wrinkle cream will do the trick.


When you get older, you have to start comparing the price of the milk in Coles and Woollies, so that you will get the cheaper one and at the same time reducing your daily expenditure. However you are worried that on the flip side of the coin, cheaper price means lower quality and that might do more harm to your health, or provide less nutritions than the other one if anything. That's why i stop buying milk. lmao. However, i have already seen myself crossing the boundary of adulthood and stepping into it. Chicken breast is more expensive than drumstick and chicken wings, so i would talk myself into buying them despite more work have to be done when it comes to slicing or cutting it. It always happen, you start to save money because you know that sooner or later, your parents are going to leave you alone, you have to earn money and go on a budget life in order to survive. It's a balance between your capibility and the quality of life.

When you are older, you tend to differentiate between the ideal lover and the realistic lover.
"i want a guy/girl who is cute, rich, knowledgeable and bla bla bla...." you name it.
However when you get older, you know that kind of person never exist. It's always a combination of a few features, but never all of them. So you learn how to compromise, and put those things into a list starting from the feature you prefer the most to the one you think is least important. You learn how to compromise, you learn how to view life in a more realistic way. You will, however, allow yourself to wander off into the fairytale world once a while to regain your confidence towards life, and how wonderful it could be. Not that you have a bad life, it's just that a wonderful life has no boundaries, you can never get enough of it.

So what's on top of your list then? and how much does each weigh?
Personality or
Social status or
look or
Wisdom

Despite reservoir engineering, business communication, thermodynamic, Japanese, and so on and so forth, i am learning how to deal with life, and looking forward to what life has installed for me. IQ or EQ? Obviously i am an EQ person. I like the way how life is shaped up, but not how much Science has evolved. They are always related to one another, but for me, i can always see the difference between them. :)

Blog is so dead

yeh i know i am such a pain in the arse. My blog is so dead, i haven't been updating anything. life is busy people, don't blame me. Imagine i stayed back in the library till 8pm for a few consecutive days. Imagine imagine the lazy VS stayed back in the library (to check out people is it?) TO DO MY DESIGN PROJECT BUT NOT TO CHECK OUT PEOPLE!!!


Anyway, yesterday was my last day in uni for the first semester of my second year. Having my study vacation now, exam is coming in a week's time. Running out of time huh? yeah i think so but i am still not motivated to study just yet. Still slacking and planning to go out for a stroll to the malls, yeh yeh it's the winter giant sales!!!! However budget is kinda tight lately, thanks to those unknown reasons (don't ever try to guess, but i can assure you it has nothing to do with the trading of sex, lol).


What's on first? hmmm business communication. oh hell, i have just realised that i know bascially nothing about this course except for the presentations i did. arghhhhhh!! need all the notes now anyone can help me out? yeh according to Tim, i am always the end of the notes chain (yeap, usually i am the last one to receive any notes or maybe not at all, lol). but hey people, i have changed, i am more studious this year, i put in effort to print my notes out weeks before the exams.


Reservoir engineering is coming a day after that. hmm, lots of revision to go through, freaking 8 chapters (phew, 8 chapters only and you are complaning the shit out?), 8 BIG chapters people!!! And despite my will to pay attention to Rachie, there has always been something to fail me in my mission, sigh!!! Be it the people sitting next to me ( i am not talking about you Tim, don't give yourself away. lol. or Wani and Leena talking about their outfits, and touching each other (sound so wrong) or adjusting their clothes close to their boobs. hey girls, that could be very disturbing you know. hahaha. oh well not like i am going to give a damn. But obviously, Tim was trying hard to resist it. poor him.


Speaking of the reservoir engineering presentation, what's wrong with my tongue and the word " substituting", i just couldn't get it right. haha, nah just to mention my inability to pronounce that word and embarassed myself a bit.


oh what's next? oh yeh Japanese study. The final exam is such a F1 race with time. 110 questions in 2 hours. oh my god, i have to memorise all the hiragana, katakana and kanji hardcore from now on. yeh yeh, it's time to practise it!!! in other words, more shin chan!!! hahahhaa. me and my shin chan i know!! tsk tsk tsk.

My mum is coming on the 20th. Yeh, i will have one exam left during the week she is here. but meh, i will definitely have time for her. It's winter now guess she will be sneezing her heart out during the stay here. haha. and yeh she is gonna bring a KG of ikan bilis!! yeh people i miss ikan bilis ok!!!!!!!! and i miss mi hun kueh that i am going to cook it every single day! budak sial!! haha. oh yeh, speaking of malay, i think i have got some improvement on it. thanks to those bruneian friends. Xhui, Wiven, Chea hao, Yaozhong, dont worry i won't order AIR KEPALA anymore! yeh laugh!!! laugh as hard as you want, i don't care!!!!!!!

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My blog is dead, but my mind is not dead. i have lots of ideas to write, but due to my pure laziness, i have got no motivation to blog at all.

Today's topic, bitch.

Everyone is bitchy in general. Whether or not it's dominant depends on how well you present your bitchiness. It's not that you want to be a bitch, it's the people around you that unleash your bitchiness. People nowadays are overly taking things for granted and hence making each other's life difficult. the "an eye for an eye" concept is too overwhelming, and widely used in our society nowadays.

"you want to be a bitch, i will be a bitch and a half!" that's usually the case. That's why human's relationship is like a never ending war between two bitches.

"oh please for christ's sake, can we please stop fighting?" A said.

"you started it first" B said, sounded all bitchy.

"if it's not because of you, i wouldn't have started it in the first place! " A said again.

"oh yeh? So thoughtful of you to start it off for me! thanks! " B said, couldn't be any more bitchier.

"oh fine!....................." A said.

So the conversation goes on with two people being bitchy to each other. If B just said sorry, there willl be less two bitches in the world.

Case 2, in the shopping mall.

"do you think you can give me a discount on this?" A asked, seemed not going to accept any rejection at all.

"sorry i can't. i am just a staff." B said.

"hmm say if you give me a 20% discount, i will buy it right away!" A said again, not giving up.

"sorry madam, i just can't. Maybe you can choose the other stuff which is on sale?" B said. trying to be nice.

"fine then, i will buy it next time" A said.

"oh okok, i will give you 10% sale at most! " B said.

"20%" A bargained again. very firmed with her determination.

"15%" B said.

"18%?" A said. (wth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if the calculator is not invented, you would have to employ an accountant in order to complete the trading)

"oh fine, 18% " A said.

such a waste of time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just dont understand. with that 10 minutes wasted on bargaining with each other, you could have talked another customer into buying it! and with that 10 minutes wasted, you could have found another shop selling it at a much cheaper price.

Just don't buy if it's too expensive! and just don't sell if you think it's too low for a price! gosh!

ok now i am a total bitch for writing all these. but every so often, you will just laugh your heart out when you bump into this kind of situation. It's interesting to see how shallow people are that they don't want to lose their dignity and hence would rather become a bitch and take over the situation.

fine! Be a bitch and you think people will think big of you? no way!

the world will be more loving if one could just suppress their bitchiness. however it wouldn't be as interesting and as exciting as it is now if there is no bitches in the world. lol.

Nationality confusion

During CEIC 2000, yeh it's thermodynamic and basically it has always failed to hold my attention for longer than 15 mins. sadness. Leena was sitting next to me and as always, we started chit-chatting with me calling out her full name which is kinda exotic "dayangku.....bla bla bla.

Then we suddenly talked about a malaysian whose name is Hazi or something i couldnt really remember. but yeh he is a malaysian guy that i couldn't seem to recall at that moment (i still don't know who is he though).

some important background info:
i was wearing GLASSES as usual. and Leena, by any chance wouldn't overlook that.

"........oh Hazi, the malaysian guy, don't you know who is he?" Leena asked.

"hmm, not that i can remember" i then said, obviously never feel ashamed of my shitty memory.

"ah, the guy that wear glasses?" leena then elaborated more on him.

"ah, that's very informative Leena," me being sarcastic.

"aiyo, he is the only malaysian guy that wear glasses !" she then said it.

"..........................." staring at her, and was about to ask her what i was putting on in front of my eyes, but then i couldn't be bothered much (as lazy as always) and just pointed at my glasses.

"huh?" Leena was still obsessed with her mistake and didn't seem to be realising anything from my hint.

"then where am i from?" i then said.

"oh sorry....................sorry...............sorry............" she then apologized, with Stef, who was sitting in front of me laughing her ass off.

"......................" i was totally speechless.

" i always thought you are from hong kong or somewhere else! " she then further explained.

"oh yeh? lol. " (only if my friends acknowledge my weird-sounding cantonese. ahahha.

Wani's friend asked her when she saw my picture in the camera "since when you know a korean guy?"

lol....................................

oh well, sometimes chinese are chinese, it doesn't make much of a difference between a malaysian chinese and a hong ki chinese. or do they actually have a different look that label themselves as chinese from particular country?

Baby has grown up

he was four months old.
6 months old.
9 months old here.

After ten months after my sis-in-law has given birth to him, he has gone through the stages that every baby does. From drinking milk to eating congee, and now eating rice and some junk food that we adults eat - from lying still in bed and cried out to be cuddled to being able to crawl on his own and sit up right, and soon becoming a toddler- from toothless to a few TEETH (not tooth) at the front part of his mouth- from not being able to understand what we said to him to being so bossy to answer every incoming phone calls, i would say that he has officially grown up. I would still call him a baby but i think he might think he is grown-up enough not to be called a baby.

yeah, bryvan has grown up. the last time i saw him was actually three months ago, when he still couldn't crawl around and needed to rely on his "mercedes". But now, whenever i called my mum, he would yell so loud signaling my mum that he wanted to answer the phone call- that i have to call out his name to satisfy him and expecting him to giggle a bit before i could really talk to my mum. haha. so cute! and whenever my mum goes on webcam, he would be become all photogenic and crawl over so that i could see him. lol.

perasan betul budak ni.

He is 10 months old now. yeah, you heard me right, 10 months old, not even 1 year old. but how can he be so gigantic and mature-looking? haha. yeh i couldnt help but wonder over the same question too. and guess what, my mum said he had slimmed down after falling sick for nearly two-weeks. i really can't imagine how big he was.

anywya, by the time i go back to malaysia, he will be waiting for me in the airport, toddling around and perhaps call me "er shu (uncle)"? haha. must teach him over msn. haha. Still, he is the king of Chia's family. hehe. oh well, he has now replaced me to go with my dad to the kopitiam every morning. lol.

doesn't seem apologetic at all!

With the excessive use of the word F*** globally, and how peoples over the world have been worshipping this word regardless of their emotions, happy, mad, or even emotionless, i think the existence of the F word in every single spoken sentence (or even written) is significantly noticeable.

During the reservoir engineering tutorials, when everyone was busy copying down the questions, Shane, Timothy and Leena were also nicely playing the role of a good student. They were multitasking like most of the students do, all the time in fact. While copying down the questions without giving a damn on how to solve the questions, they were chit-chatting all the time.

someone started adding the word f*** in his sentence and Shane overheard it (or eavesdropped if you would rather call it that way). Shane then poppped a sentence out ramdomly.

"hey please don't swear. i am a good boy. and i don't f**king swear! " Shane said with his serious look on and continued copying down the question.

Timothy and Leena started to laugh.

"hey if someone apologises to you in this way, will you ever forgive him/her?" Leena then asked.

"in what way?" out of curiosity and also tried to be responsive, Tim and Shane asked.

"i am fucking sorry. i just couldn't believe what i have been fucking done to you. Can you fucking forgive me?" Leena said and without any doubt, both of us were laughing out hearts out but trying to keep it down just in case we have to repeat the same thing to Rachel (the lecturer).

"oh hell, no way i am going to forgive him/her!" Both Tim and Shane said.

"but then if the person does look very apologetic and very sincere in his manner?" Leena then added.

"oh well, then it depends on the situation. i will let you know when someone apologize to me in that way! " Shane said.

what would you guys do?

The fifty cents tale

ok this is really classic. It never fails to make me laugh whenever I see a fifty cents coin in my wallet.

"how much is the bag?" Peter asked the chinese boss.

"35 dollars (with the chinese accent)!" the chinese boss said.

"I will get it from you for 30 dollars!" Peter tried to bargain with the chinese boss, ridiculous!

"no.......no............(the longest "no" peter has ever heard). If i give you 30 dollars, tomorrow you come i close down!" the chinese boss said, with the very distinctive english with chinese accent.

"oh man c'mon, i really like this bag, 30 dollars deal?" Peter was not giving up.

"ok let me talk to my wife!" the chinese boss said.

*after a while listening to the mandarin Peter can never understand*

"ok, you seem like a nice guy. i will give you the best price ever!" the chinese boss said.

With so much anticipation rumbling inside, Peter waited for the price offered.

"34.50 dollars! " the chinese boss said, with an exaggerated expression on his face, telling Peter this is the best price ever really.

"oh man, it's just 50 cents difference!" Peter, couldn't help but to feel like banging his head onto the wall.

"hey 50 cents can be alot. see ah, you save 50 cents here, then you go to other shop and save another 50 cents, it's 1 dollar!!!!!!!!!! and then you save another 50 cents and another, you can go to the two dollars shop !!!! " the chinese boss analyzed the logic to Peter.

omg, i was laughing my ass off. really. Now you know how Chinese run their business. They will try their hardest to get every penny from you. So save the hassle of bargaining with them, your effort will be to no avail!! lol.

Congee is not rice! lol

Yeh, i cooked congee tonight, an hour ago to be exact, but i failed big time on the first attempt. It looked completely like a bowl of rice with soup which has been dried off for not eating it immediately after it's cooked. sadness!!! i couldn't even cook congee!!!!! what a shame.

Firstly, i boiled the rice with hot water and ginger to spice up the congee. After it's boiled, i added in some lean pork and was going to add in some carrot as well but obviously i didn't have any so yeah i couldn't be bothered and actually too late to go down and get it. So after 15 minutes, it looked fine already but i thought since it's congee, i would heat it up for another 5 or 10 minutes. Obviously after that, the congee looked like a bowl of rice, to make the matter worse, it somehow looked like sticky rice !! yeah, no kidding, sticky rice because the water was totally dried off.

what did i do then? aiyo, of course call my mum la!!! lol. then she laughed her ass off while telling me to add more water and let it boiled again for another 3-5 minutes, and not to forget to add in more salt as i added in some more water. i know that!!!!! i actually counted the amount of salt to be added in proportion to the water added in. fuiyo. lol. obviously she was looking down at me!!! It's ok, how many people on earth will actually gain success in their first attempt?

and after that, ta daa~~~~~

it did look like congee now. haha. and it actually tasted so nice that i am considering to run a restaurant selling Shane's Congee in Coogee. lol. it rhymes!!!!! lol.

Anyway, winter is here. It's way too early!!! and it's reported that this year is going to be colder than last year. {might as well start snowing la 笨 (pronounce it in canto)}.The freezingly cold weather and the lack of sleep due to my never-ending assignments and tests defeated my immune system and i have to say i hate runny nose and the ceaseless sneezing!

ok take care guys. i will get my ass back here soon when i am done with my reservoir engineering test next week. it's painful but thinking that Rachie (my lecturer) has put in so much effort in teaching us (suddenly become so appreaciative), I shouldn't disappoint her. wow, i will send her the link to my blog. lol.

bye~じゃあまた

徘徊

第一次觉得自己很蠢

没法在广义与狭义之间取个平衡
论生活，感情抑或态度
把自己看得很小，把自己的信心打落谷底
将别人的想法放大
总觉得对于感觉的敏锐度，别人的总大过于自己的
出发点也混淆了 完全不能自己

霏霏的细雨 保暖的夹克
掩饰不了心中的疙瘩
这场长命雨来得真不是时候
如果气温骤降 雨点凝结成霜
或许会是不同的想法

呼吸让我想起空气的回忆

Breakdown

Do people really get nervous breakdown due to the unbearable level of stress and mental breakdown caused by the ceaseless problems that hit you like there is no tomorrow? The answer is yes. I was pretty skeptical about it but yes after experiencing it once, i couldn't believe more!

What would one normally do when they are struck by so called the mental breakdown? and what are the symptoms of it?

Firstly, an emotional self would reveal inevitably. Less words, less mingle around, less social activity, always seem to be drowning in your own thoughts/world. You can call that depression but they are totally different, at least you are not suicidal and you tend to take it out.

so what did i do? Yeh, i am not ashamed to say that i cried, like a baby indeed, when i was on the phone with Sherene. Everything could have easily triggered the tears gland and started to well up and then streaming down. It happened just within a split second and i was shocked at what i was doing. Trying to hold back and tried to introspect but what the hell can't i just be irrational for minutes??? so i reckoned it'd be better off to just let it be. After 10 minutes, yeah not long, i ceased, and talked to Sherene for the next 5 mins but still sobbing all the way.

Asked for the reasons, i could only say there have been too many things going around and haunting me like a flies buzzing you all the time. and yeah i lost control, for once, and couldn't handle myself well enough to resolve everything. All in all, i realised that i am just a normal human being, a normal guy.

When would you let down your guard and just be yourself exposing your inner self and tell the whole world how at times you can get so weak inside? It's always easy for girls, but there is always a great wall to cross over in order for a guy to get to that point, and i would reckon it's rather a mountain than a wall for some guys.

So people, don't suppress your feelings. Even the toughest guy on earth need a break to be able to be persistent in the long run. :) but then, you can't always be depressed or unhappy. a day or two is fine, but if it lasts for a month, better consult a pyschiatrist because i think a psychologist can no longer help you and let alone you yourself. It's always different when it comes to the level of EQ that decide your capability of handling everything. :)

What's the truth about a man on an island?

A phone call at 3am and i quickly got changed and waited in the cold. Not something emergency, not something bad. Hopped on the car in 2 minutes. The smell of alcohol, just a minor one, realised that i have been a teetotaller for months. Driving around without any destination, pub-crawlers were starting to hail a taxi to get home while the others were still making noise on the street. Driving towards north but didn't cross the harbour bridge, the car came to a halt at Walsh Bay after passing by Sydney Dance Company where i picked up my dance lessons last year.

Sydney Opera House was just across the sea. The lightings were all turned on, breathtaking but seemed lonely. Who the hell would care about The Opera House at night, but nevertheless i could subconsciously heard Sherene babbling about the history of it a month ago. lol. Yeh, back to the car. It's wee hours in the morning and the pin-dropped silence made the Bay so dead.

Never care about The Opera House, and keeping quiet was not a better idea either, the topics wandered off from Malaysia to Hawaii to Japan, from childhood to the future, from gossips to reality, my sleepiness had all gone by then. Really, the conversation was so great, it reminded me of what a mutal conversation is like and how wonderful it could be.

The night was still young, whoever said that was a real genius. I never think the night will become any older anyhow until you get tired of it.

Two hours passed with thousands of words spoken. It helped sobering people up, and helped me to put things into perspective. I wondered how rarely do people tell the truth, and how often people by all means trying to hide themselves, and how often do people lie on the pretext of protecting themselves?

I got home at 5-ish. Tried to put myself to sleep but the thoughts were too overwhelming. Put them into a blender, after a few minutes i got a whole new perspective, not an exciting one, but at least an inspiring one that will keep me going for a while.

One question, will you tell the truth when you're talking to yourself? People so often were too fragile to do that and tend to be delusive. And so, what's the truth about a man on an island? noone will seem to get the answer. But if you go deep enough, the answer might just be buried somewhere and waiting to be revealed.

phew, go to sleep la!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tagged by Kai

Instructions: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

1. At what age do you wish to marry?
Frankly i don't really give a damn. As long as i think i am good enough to get married, then that'll be the time. but of course, not older than 35 or younger than 25. yi actually i do have an age scope, ok la, it's 25-35.

2. What do you think you were in your past life?
A player, in this case a guy that multi-time girls and women, can't seem to get enough of females.

3. What's your favorite thing to do?
Singing. but actually i think singing has become part of my life not only a favourite thing to do. so i will go for travelling. :)

4. Do you think money can buy happiness?
Definitely. why not???

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
1 dream???? oh well then my dream would be that every other of my dreams come true. :) that's not too greedy is it?

6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
Hell no. you need food to keep life moving, without money you couldn't get food.

7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
Myself. It's the worst thing on earth to lose yourself.

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Deposit it into the bank so that i can earn interest and don't have to get a part-time job??? haha.

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Sure will. No doubt.

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
Good with words (funny yet meaningful at times). Miss her bf so much that you can tell she is a good lover (this is a good point aye!!!). Very easy to get along (don't really have to care that she is a girl).

11. What are the requirements that you wish from the other half?
Really want to be my other half.

12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
hypocrites and liars.

13. What is your ambition?
graduate and start earning as much money as possible. Not forgetting to get a life of course.

14. If you can teleport once, where would you go?
basically nowhere. ok la if you insist, then just teleport me to the house next door. lol.

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Family and friends.

16. hey kai, where is your question 16???????

17. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
hm, i am pretty happy with everything about myself. So yeah i might have to consult my friends. lol.

18. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
Myself and some of my closest friends.

19. How do you see yourself in 10 years time?
Successful and have a wonderful family.

20. what else are you doing when you are writing this tag?
Watching Shin Chan.

I tag:
Timothy Ting
Stefanie Chuah
Izah
Hadee
Christopher Tay
Yao Zhong
Khai Yi
Venus

Apples and Me

ok it's time to turn my clock an hour backward. So for those people in Malaysia, i am only two hours ahead of you now. :) that means i've earned an hour extra now. It means a lot to procrastinator like me, as with an hour extra, i could have finished one of the many assignments, only if I can be bothered much. haha.

oh yeah talking about the title, i have been on an apple fast for three days, which means that i ate only apple for the past three days. WHAT FOR? TO MAKE YOURSELF SLIMMER AND LOOK LIKE THOSE STARVING AFRICAN? that's what my mum said once i told her about the apple fast. yeh, i ate only appleS and drank only water for the past three days. Please don't overlook the S at the back of apple, it's important enough to differentiate my apple fast from the apple diet that people usually do to cut down their weight. yeh, i ate apple whenever i felt hungry, so I actually ate an amount of 10 apples on the first day, 8 apples on the second day and 9 apples on the third day, which was the last day. Besides that, i performed enema as well. For those of you who don't happen to know what enema is, it's a process done by inserting the enema tool (which usually is a tube followed by a bottle filled with sodium bicarbonate) into your anus to clean the lower bowel. That is to clean those leftover fibre or whatever that stays in your lower bowel. If you still don't understand, it's called 灌肠 in Mandarin. lol.

VS, why the hell would you wanna do that? ok, firstly it's to detoxify my body, not that i had a lot of toxins in my body, it's actually to find out whether or not ance has got anything to do with diet and yeah i have my pimples breakout coming back which is why i am going on this apple fast. Accutane obviously hasn't done me a long term effect, and the side effects are just crappy. Neither did Benzoyl Peroxide nor Salicyclic Acid and Climdamycin do any good. oh well, all in all, if anything the apple fast is definitely for good. I didn't have to starve myself, nor was i deprived of nutritions as apples actually give enough nutritions except for the excessive carbohydrate which we need to keep the day going. oh well, it doesn't matter to me i could still go on with my daily routine.

I realised that i really had a very strong determination and willpower. I was actually brave enough to go out with Jason and my cousin for dinner. yeah, i didn't have anything they had but only apples, and the temptations of those food were just simply overwhelming. oh well, i have been tough enough to resist all the temptations. I don't want to pour my effect into the sea just because of the temptations.

So how's the result? yeah, i could actually see the result in three days, waking up today noticing that most of the pimples have calmed down a lot if not gone. Positive i would say. Besides, i feel really healthy and refreshing. and most importantly, i am craving for all kinds of food now. Even the white bread just tastes heavenly. hahaha. I will not be as picky as i have always been today onwards, HOPEFULLY!

The downside is, Sherene, by all means, tried to tempt me out of the fast. We went to the Lindt Cafe for hot chocolate of course. It's LINDT people!!!!!! and instead of getting myself a cup of nice hot chocolate, i went for green tea (green tea is a very good antioxidant fyi). haha, silly and funny guy! She even asked Jason to join her in buying the Pig's ear (猪耳朵), yeah it's my all time favourite, and eat them right in front of me. oh well, dare me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahha. you will see yourself failing. fuiyo!!!!!!

yeap, that's the whole tale of me and my apples. i just can't get enough them, can i ?? *puking* big time. To be honest, i havent gotten sick with the apples!!!! wow!!!!!

ok that's all for today. My raisin toast and mushroom soup are waiting for me (i bought them yesterday in advance, haha).

have a nice day guys!

Active or Passive?

i couldn't help but to lock this example of active and passive form Mr Alinson gave in his class right into my brain. Recall it repeatedly and never failed to giggle at its hilarity.

It's not meant to be funny but the way he put it was just interesting and to be honest, i will never forget it.

In the Business Communication lecture, Mr Alinson was to give a lecture on how to write a good report, the writing style and stuff. We have always been told that Science Students or Engineering students are to write their report or EVEN speech in passive form. I rang the bell when we were to write our Physics or Chemistry or Biology report in passive form back in high school. Guys can you remember??

So he went on with his encounter or i should say tale-telling session where he wrote a speech to be presented on a conference for engineers (can't really remember everything but i think it's similar). He wanted to make things easier for everyone, both the speaker and the audiences, so he decided to write everything in active form. Believe me it's much easier to understand and much less boring. But the people in charge responded him by saying that everything had to be written in passive form, as it's the rule that has been abode for years.

As a result, Mr Alinson replied the email, sarcastically which went this way (roughly):

"I suggest a coffee is to be had by you and me this weekend. The matter is to be discussed and a conclusion is to be drawn after that."

(this is not exactly what he wrote i put it into my own words, but the idea is the same)

So active or passive? Rules are meant to be bent when it's not compatible with the society anymore!

Go past it

Every so often, things don't turn out to be the way you expected. and you don't take it out on somebody when that happens.

Depression hit, a while back, and i couldn't have shaken it off. It's the season i guess, when all the leaves turning yellowish and eventually..wither..life has been different, beyond bearable i would say. I remembered a friend of mine used to tell me this "the only thing that doesn't change is the constant change itself". So true.

I am doing the things i should never have done. So am i missing the person that i shy away from my life.

I've become a little bit anti-social nowadays. i couldn't be bothered to interfere my life with somebody else's when i myself haven't been able to sort mine out. It's just absurd! For once, my life is out of control. i lost track of my life. what's that supposed to mean? i don't kknow, but i am sure i will get back to my senses very soon.

Love taking pictures. Pictures sometimes help put things into perspective. You see something that others can't see at times. yeah, i am not talking about the picture above and i am not a paedo by snapping that picture. Different ways of capturing the picture show a wide range of mindset and how observing you are.

Love dancing. Joined the salsa class, paired up with different people, meant to be making you more sociable but that didn't help at times. I am too absorbed picking up the steps than to migle with people around.

Summer is almost over. or has it been over? oh well, the scorching sun isn't at all indicative of that. From spf30 to spf 15 but couldn't feel the difference, that's the indication i guess.

Conversation is mutual. it's always been since centuries ago. and we so often take it for granted. Until you actually find that you are waiting for that someone to converse with you. It's not mutual anymore, you are dancing the solo tango and never ever she will join you in the dance. So sad that you want to get a dummy to talk to (or a blown-up doll? that just sounds wrong). Never have thought i would screw up, but i just did. The irony of fate. haha. lol.

ごべんなさい。

20th birthday celebration

ok just a quick update. i should have been in bed but to save up the hassle of going to the toilet in the middle of my sleep because of the 200ml water i have just gushed down, i am going to update my blog before i go to the toilet to take a leak.

so we had a bit of celebration at Sherene's place last night which was definitely a heart-warming one. Dinner, cake, monopoly session, simple yet satisfying which suited my growing age. lol.

the greentea cake with a layer of red beans in the middle. it's just simply tasty people. i am never into red beans but trust me, i think i might have fallen in love with that already.

ok me and my cake. for those of you who haven't happened to see me before i left, i cut my hair short a month ago, i mean really short, remember what i was like when i was still in chong hwa? yeah you got that! the good news is it has now grown longer.

Sherene and I. Guess she has been marking her existence in my blog quite often. yeah she is the person i am closest to in Sydney. :)

wow, the cake with candles. lol. ok guys notice the candles??? they are tall, slim, and look def better???

Tom, me and Jason. sigh my head is still that small. maybe i should stuff more knowledge into my brain and it could then enlarge my head a little bit, maybe....

anyway, i am really glad that there was a little celebration in store for me. at least i am not alone. Sometimes i really wonder, does birthday still matter as much as it has always been when i grow older and older? and the same old answer i could get from myself is " yeah, it definitely does! no matter how old i am".

Thanks!!!!!!!! i really had a great time.

Saying good bye to 19~Happy Birthday!!

so yeah first of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to myself!!!! hahaha. ok that's pretty lame i know. However, after a long night sleep (sad case, i was sleeping the whole night and have already wasted half of the time on my birthday), i am finally heading out to Sherene's place. Will update you guys on what will be in store for me this evening.

ok people, i woke up with the first mission to check out the taylor's gang's blog, in which Sam offered to give her virginity (relax people, it's the virginity to start off the first post i am talking about) to me. *proud proud*. After the "tribute" last year from Qin ai de, i received yet another one this year. Reading through the whole post, awwww, seriously Sam, you did a good job in bringing back all the memories we have had back then. That has totally moved my heart.

SWEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh by the way, that's the most special birthday song i have ever heard in my life. ok, seems that we are talking about a variety of virginities here! lol. and no i don't have any confessions to make atm. :)

big big big thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! muacks......

and last but not least, thanks to those who wished me on time, and called me on time, the indescribable joys of having gotten your wishes is just heavenly.

anyway, if you are interested in reading the post Sam wrote, here it is...
http://wtfsaidthemonkeyss.blogspot.com/2008/03/to-my-one-only-racoon.html

ciao peeple!

p/s: it's Easter Holiday! and apparantly it's a public holiday, after all these years to have Chong Hwa celebrated for me, the whole Australia is celebrating for me now. lol. wow wow, ok stop being so self-righteous now.

It'll just be temporary

Back in Sydney. Same place, same people, but different views i have towards the city. Friends that i have been hanging out with are in sight, but are leaving sydney one by one sooner or later. Lesser passion. lesser excitement but greater affections for home really.

It's cold. The chilly weather hits earlier this year. I was carrying a laundry basket with toiletries hook and pillow inside that i bought for the new place i got. While everyone else was nicely dressed and ready to hit the bar in conjuction with the yearly event Mardi Gras. I was too beat to join the big event, let alone the party night.

Sherene is still the same, as eloquent as usual, that's what i like about her. A little gloomy though, think the current job is giving her a hard time. People tend not to have a choice to decide their own life, it's all about timing, all about what's available and what's the best to keep life moving.

Katherine is going back to malaysia to give the baby the best life. Gathered together yesterday for an hour, the family was brought together once again, but joyful moment doesn't last. It'll be another year before i can see her.

Suchada is going back to Thailand too after the end of the one-year-contract with the company. Haven't been able to catch up with her though. Going to have a farewell party for her in this coming saturday.

Tom is moving to north ryde as usual. Guess i will not see him often though.

When someone is leaving, there is always someone new to fill up the place. My cousin sister is joining me in Sydney this year. I haven't got her a place to stay, which is bad! When you are abroad, your own room and own bed are like a safe harbour, giving you a sense of security. So i will be spending the whole day to get her a nice place to settle down.

Missing my nephew already. The mornings will never be the same anymore without seeing his pleasant smiles first thing in the morning. Well, pictures would quench my thirst for the moment though. :)

Sing a song with your heart

The idea of venting out sadness and depressions through singing crossed my mind today i paid a visit to my vocal teacher. It's the first time i have seen him since two years ago. I didn't have any particular songs that i wanted to sing in mind that i chose a song among the song lists available (not many choices though). An old song "qiu niao" caught my attention that i decided to give it a go. It's a sad song anyway, was matched with my mood at that moment.

I wasn't familiar with the song, heard it a few times before when qin ai de sang it in Red Box. Neither the lyrics nor the exact rhythm. Got myself familiarized during the first attempt and started to sing it with earnestness. Except for a few notes that i went wrong it's a good try otherwise. Teacher said the key was not high enough that he couldn't hear the resonance of my voice so we tried a F major instead of the E major i sang along with in my first atttempt. I am fine with both but frankly speaking, i could really feel the power of my voice during my second attempt. That's so called the resonance i think.

This is the first time i saw myself singing with passion, with all the touchy-feely feelings from my heart. It's not very touching but well, the good thing is i could feel that myself. Wow, i felt really good after singing the whole song. It's like i have told a story, a story that has been hidden in me for long, all the feelings that i have been succumbing were vent out.

Anyway, i have uploaded the songs on to my blog. enjoy~