At the verge of leaving

yea, the title says it all..i m leaving, off to Australia soon if i have already made up my mind..still, i put the acceptance of University of New south Wales on hold, have not summited the registration fee. right at the moment, i m struggling, struggle to leave all behind, my family, my hometown, my friends, and everything i am having here..i don't want to go, if only i have a desired course offer for me here..two months more, yeah, i m enrolling into the February intake..i cannot make up my mind at all so far, i cant, i m reluctant to leave my everything of mine AGAIN, yet my leaving is for my own future..i m not that indecisive, just that it's really a very difficult situation to make up my mind, the dilemma drives me to the verge of breakdown..every time i look at my parents, my mind would take a swift change that tells me not to leave..

furthermore, i m leaving off alone, alone means really alone, without any company or either any friends with the same background. my parents are not going to accompany me there, i have to settle everything on by myself..

one more month, one more month, one more month..time flies, the day is approaching, the time to make up my mind is no longer long, everything seems come altogether addling my brain, almost suffocate me..

what should i do?which side should i take?i m helpless...