华文篇

久违了华文。

去了家港式餐厅，点了个烧鸡饭，惊觉原来是份卤汁烧鸡饭。黑没有不好，只是个人觉得白比较有感觉。本是白，尽是白。干脆把头发也给他染了个白色，你说。那就不致于此，头发还是黑的好。兜了一大圈，才发现小白我喜欢的还是黑的。

力大哥说打工能减少罪恶感。我自觉打工能掩护自己的惰性，读书方面的慵懒呗。从来不觉得有打工的需要，才发现原来打工并没有不好。结识广，挣点钱舒缓舒缓一下自己的高消费，也让老妈觉得孩子我长大了，买颗钻石戒子讨一讨她欢心。看呗，打工并没有什么不好。搞不好弄出个职场恋情杀你个措手不及。想得太美了。echo 说头脑简单向前冲，会有更多的意外收获。我也有同感，老兄们，别想太多了，想干啥就去干，成功了再对别人说 "我牛不牛？"。

有个女孩朋友对我说，男人不喜欢能够一手掌握的女人，男人会有自卑感。棒极了，试问若是这样，有哪个男人不自卑。哈哈。所以说嘛，男人女人都一样，输了尺寸，就输了尊严。我却说，科技发达，谁理你是大是小，重要的还是内在呗。你说我老套。好我不跟你拗。科技能把你从小变大，大了再大，伸缩自如。可是却永远不能把你变成个有内在的人。

昨天去了拉面馆，点了个 やきそば，咸死了，可是还是爱吃。人怎么这么犯奸啊，吃多了会死还是爱吃。朋友说我越来越成熟了，我说是老了吧。说我越来越没有东南亚风味，我说是时候该回家了。说我为什么都长不高，我说我讨厌长高。说我为什么都吃不肥，我说肥了鸡鸡会变小。哈。

你就不能顺着我一次嘛，非得处处顶着我。哈哈。

晚餐吃越式猪肉粉。好啦是时候出门了，我又成了迟到大王。真是本性难移。

p/s: the pictures were taken at bondi beach. Too bad it's a gloomy and windy day we couldn't do much but to pose around like dummies. anyway, it's me, Sherene, Jason, Yen ling, and an unknown lady whom i still didn't ask for her name after lunch. haha.

aiya, Wollongong take 2~~~

I am so lazy to update my blog sorry peeps. only if i am more hardworking. only if i have got more free time (fyi, i am having my winter break and i am basically doing nothing). Only if i can tell myself the 100th times to get a job. And only if i can buy a ticket and fly back to Malaysia to meet you guys right up!!!! sadness of life.

So here is the story. Sherene, Jason (my roommate), Sin yee (my cousin) and I (of course la!) and not to forget 30 other people which apparantly i am not going to list down their names one by one were on a trip down to Wollongong. Mind the word "down", that means it's on the south of Sydney, but on the north of Canberra. Anyway that's not the point, the point is, we went there! (it doesn't sound much like a point either. sigh)

First stop. hmm wait i couldn't recall the name of the place. It doesn't matter. just remember it's a cliff overlooking the blue pacific ocean, and oh yeh it's 20 minutes before reaching Wollongong. And that's my shadow. Looking nice huh? of course, just the shadow. :(

oh yeah, wondered why i circled the two mountains on upper side of the picture? yeh, because i had been there before last year, for my Geology excursion. yeap you got it right, the whole point of organizing that trip last time was to give us a chance to understand the evolution of that mountains? or stuff like that i couldn't recall anything now. sadness. ok the point is, we had to draw that two mountains and you know how skillful i am in drawing. tsk tsk.

Creative Zen 2GB for sale anyone? a little intro about it:
-Born in Malaysia
-Has been to Genting, Tangkak, KL, Singapore, Kota Kinabalu, Sandakan, Tawau, Sydney, Canberra, Central Coast, and Wollongong
-Died last year but then after a series of resuscitations by its owner, it revived and has since lived healthily.
-loyal
-Has not been stained and has great skin under its owner's tender care
-and last but not least, it has been sleeping with its owner, nude? hmm that's not a point but it could be. lol.

oh wow, i wish that was me! but apparantly it's not me, because i was taking his picture on land. sigh!! by the way i was thinking of poking a little hole on it before another people rode on it. evil me.

After that we went to the beer brewing house in Wollongong. Ironically, we went there for fish and chips and beer of course, but were not shown the process of brewing the beer! We could just go to a bar for that couldn't we if it's not for the brewing process?

yeh, this is Bulli Black. it's just the name people, basically it's Guiness Stout (spelling?). and all i could think of about guiness Stout is that my mum used to use that to shower me, and she is still using it to shower my nephew. What's it for? hmm, not sure according to her to smooth out the skin. and to make the skin fairer? haha.

haha this was my favourite. and my cousin's. oh yeh and Sherene's. ok it's everyone's favourite. because it's not bitter at all. and with that flavour of the peach, you could just go on and on until you get all inebriated! Mind me, Sin Yee gushed down four glasses of them and slept on the bus during our next destination. lol. and Sherene almost hooked up a guy. ok la, i am just kidding. lol.


oh wow, beer, palm tree, beach and ocean. what else could you ask for? oh yeh, bikini and board pants??? haha. don't drool peeps. There wasn't anyone wearing bikini or Speedo, and worse still, there wasn't anyone on the beach!

Next stop was to watch some rock being eroded by the waves and something like that. I couldn't recall. i wondered how much i had drunk! lol. but yeh, i tried very hard to find a picture of the eroded rock but too bad i didn't take any. hahahahahhaa. what's the point huh? anyway, to jump or not to jump?

Sherene, age is kept secret for the moment, height: measure yourself, weight: never ask a girl for her weight, status: single but not available. till here you will ask me to shut up. okok!!! chill.

Jason, 20 years old, height: 170cm (round up already), weight: heavier than me (who cares about yours!!), status: single!!! hurray. anyway, if you are interested, call me.

i love this picture. It just oozed the total freedom one can get. and the peace one's mind could ever attain.

Sherene and Jason. Where was Shane then???? be patient. coming up!!

yeap, i was thinking of singing "Negaraku" all of a sudden hence the pose. by the way, how long haven't you guys been singing negaraku for????

The phantom. not of the opera though. i need a tan i guess!

i just don't know which one is better.

i think they are both equally nice. any idea??

We then went to the "nan tian shi", the biggest temple in southern hemisphere. It really is quite spacious, but i think tian hou gong is bigger. don't know, i didn't measure it.

It really is a nice place. The idea of staying there for a few months crossed my mind when i was walking around the temple. Don't worry, just staying there to help out as a volunteer not to be a monk yet.

a view from the outside.

and yeh, this is my cousin Sin Yee. Coming to Sydney to further her studies. yep UNSW, photonic engineering. don't ask me what photonic is because i have no idea at all to be honest.

So yeh, another travel post. It's just a day trip so i didn't quite absorb much things. Let alone any inspiration. but yeh nevertheless the dinner was great! i ate four bowls of rice!!! hahahaha. i think i am growing again. hopefully it's vertically not horizontally!~~~

Expectation

Ever wonder why expectations are so hard to get rid of? Ever wonder why us human beings always expect something in return and why would we have to be burdened by tonnes and tonnes of expectations from someone else?

When we put in effort cramming all the knowledge into our brain, we expect to get good results. When we work extra harder at work we expect a raise of the salary. When we give in our love, we expect it to be reciprocated. Not to forget, when our parents forking out money for our education, regardless of the amount, they expect us to get good results and become a better person.

When we are stressing out and musing that study life is so stressful and hard, that we wanna just go out and work and just "screw" it up, our parents at the same time are thinking about the same thing, just in a different point of view.

After all these years of hard work, and after all these years of living thriftily, they have finally saved up enough amount of money for their children, for their well-beings, for their education, and some even for their future. They sacrificed their youth, their chances of having a luxurious life, in short their entire life not for anything, but their kids.

Come to think of it, sometimes i would ask my mum
"is it really worth it that you invest so much money on me so that i can study in australia? it's almost half a million or might be more and with that amount of money, you can do whatever you want. Now in order to afford my tuition fee and my effing expensive living expenses, you have to think twice for every penny spent." With that being said, i really don't mind just getting my degree done in Malaysia.

"It's not important whether it's worth it or not.The reason why we are doing this is because of the responsibility, the responsibility of giving birth to you, and to raise you up and to make sure you are able to sustain your life in the future." My mum said that to me and to be honest my tears welled up in no time.

My parents have never been putting any pressure on me regarding my studies and my results. and i don't think they ever expect me to be a genius or someone with excellent results, they never compared me to my friends that they don't care how much better my friends scored than me. But do they really not expect me to be somone great, to be a son that they can actually be proud of? They don't say it out at least. But that doesn't mean they don't expect something from me. The bottom line is as long as i am just being myself and not pushing myself too hard, they will be happy about it.

My maternal grandma expects my uncles and aunties to take care of them, but at the same time, she is still taking care of my uncle instead who is still not able to take care of her totally. My paternal grandma on the other hand is happy and satisfied of being taken care by her children after so much effort of raising them up. Every parents expect their children to take care of them. They spend their whole life raising them up, take care of them, spend eveyr penny of them hoping that their kids will eventually take care of them.

Whereas my mum once said to me
"i don't really expect you guys to take care of me. That's why i am saving up for myself for future use. I am not being cynical or trying to sound pessimistic, but yeh, we do all that for you due to responsibility. To or not to take care of me in the future has nothing to do with how much i have done to you, but it depends on how much you want to take care of me and it shouldn't be a burden at all. It's not your responsibily to take care of me bcause you will have your children to deal with."

Again, my mum has never failed to amaze me with her thinkings. It's true, but that's a kind of expectation as well. My parents don't expect me to take care of them thinking that they have done so much to me, but they EXPECT me to be wanting to take care of them out of my love towards them. and that's exactly how i want it to be. There is nothing more previous than doing things whole-heartedly.

"I want to do everything for my parents because they have done so much for me, spend so much money on me and of course they expect me to take care of them" that's what basically everyone thinks, but let me tell you, it's definitely a wrong thought to begin with in the first place. Because as time goes by, you will realise that i can just pay however much money they have paid back to them. or maybe you will just not care when you have your own family. Or when your responsiblities are getting bigger at times, you will start to get sick of them for being a burden to you.

It's almost impossible to not have expectations. But keep it minimal, and keep it simple. You don't want to ruin something by expecting too much. And most importantly, expect something in a right way, with the right mind and right timing, you will get what you want. However, don't expect someone to love you if you don't confide in in the first place.

p/s: The pictures were taken on the way back from blue mountains. like mother like daughter, you can always expect the same pose form them. it's my cousin and my aunt.